stop seeking validation. stop asking others if doing something is okay. stop asking others if wearing something is okay. stop asking others whether posting something is okay. their opinions are based on their values, their experiences and their fears. but where are you in that equation? you need to make your own decisions for yourself. asking for help is fine, but making someone else’s thoughts your own is not. because if you do, you’ll end up in a never-ending downward spiral. you’ll constantly look around at your life and find things and people who you really don’t want around. yes, you’ll always make mistakes. but make those mistakes by yourself, and for yourself. you don’t need somebody else to do something that you want to do. if you wear a dress to a party, and nobody else does, who cares? it’s a dress. you don’t have to ask someone if dating someone is okay, are you okay with it? you don’t need to ask a tribunal of people who don’t look at life the way you do, if the things in your life are okay. you have all the answers, yet you ask every single question in and out of the book just to know if people think the same way as you do, or to know whether they support it. you know exactly what you want, you just want people to back that up. you just want that pat on the back. because if you don’t receive the validation you’re hoping you’ll get, a seed of doubt gets planted in your mind, and it will grow, an grow. and then it will occupy all of your mind and you’ll forget everything else.
we’ve been taught from an early age to ask for validation, even for the smallest of things – ‘may i use the restroom’ and a sticker if we do something right. they aren’t bad things, they’re just the reason most people have a habit that they’re unaware, and unconscious of – even when it eats them alive. stop asking for a pat on the back to feel like you did the right thing. if you did what to wanted to do, even if it involved telling someone how you really feel about them, or if it was removing someone from your life – its the right thing, as long as you did it for yourself, and by yourself. the ‘right thing’ is different for everybody, so you can’t let someone else’s ‘right thing’ get in the way of yours. you are enough. you are amazing. and nobody has to tell you that for it to be true.